I spent five weeks of my precious summer in Alaska working
at Birchwood camp. I’ve wanted to
write about my time there since day 1.
However here I am, two full months later, just now sitting down to try
to reflect on my experience. I can
attempt to justify my delay due to moving across the country, starting a new
job, and remembering how to live in the city again, but truthfully* I haven’t
written because I’m afraid to. I’m
afraid I won’t be able to correctly remember adventures or conversations, I’m
afraid I won’t accurately depict the intimate faith-full community of
Birchwood, I’m afraid I won’t do God justice in describing just how meaningful
this summer was to me, I’m afraid I won’t remember all the lessons I learned
and just how valuable they are, and maybe I’m even a little bit afraid of what
those lessons learned mean for me and the rest of my life.
I know that I cannot perfectly do those things I am afraid
of, but I know that I need to try.
So here it is, five weeks of my life condensed into five short pages on
a screen. And I pray that as I
begin to write, God gives me the words I need to glorify Him in my recollection
of Birchwood 2012.
“But God did not give us a spirit of cowardice, but rather a spirit of
power and of love and of self-discipline.”
~ 2 Timothy 1:7
Sunday afternoon of May 28th my mom dropped me
off at camp, a flashback to my childhood.
This time however, instead of a shy camper cautious about the upcoming
week, I am counselor ready to make the camp experience special for the kids
that come throughout the summer.
I’ve never really bought the whole “God-calling” thing; never really
felt that God was leading me to do something. I did believe that God had a plan for my life, and will lead
me where I need to go, but the practical application of that was always my
decision that God already knew, not God telling me how to live my life. This summer at Birchwood was different.
I volunteered last summer as a counselor at Birchwood for
two weeks, and those two weeks were a couple of the hardest weeks of my
life. Why then did I decide to
dedicate over half of my summer at home to a service that I knew would be
painful, tiring, and overwhelming?
I don’t know, but just perhaps, it was God calling. I went to camp to serve others, to have
fun with the campers, to develop friendships with the counselors, to delve
deeper into my faith, to learn more about being a Christian… and I came home
with so much more.
Living in a Christian community is a very special thing. There is something about brothers and
sisters in Christ that allows for a connection on a deeper level, and that is
something I’ve noticed not just at camp but also in high school and in Boston. It’s the relationships you develop that
make life enjoyable, and now I believe that so much more. Getting to know the team at Birchwood
and witnessing how they love each other, the campers, and random people they
meet in a gas station has opened my eyes to understanding what it means to live
a life as a Christian.
“Little children, let us love not in word or speech, but in truth and
action.”
~ 1 John 3:18
I really like that you only have to change one letter to
turn live into love. Believe it or
not, loving others has always been difficult for me. Why can’t I tell my friends that I love them? Why do I awkwardly fake a hug**? Why am I so scared to make known my
feelings? These rhetorical
questions probably recognize my insecurity in myself. However this summer I learned that loving others isn’t about me. Who would have thought!? That seems like a pretty basic component
of love, but somehow I had been missing that. Loving others isn’t something special you do because of an
occasion; it isn’t something reserved for only certain people. We’ve all heard the famous 1
Corinthians 13 love is patient, love is kind, etc… passage, and basically what
it comes down to is that loving isn’t something you should do every once and
awhile, it is how your should live your life. The monumental importance of love resonates with me in verse
2 “…and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I
am nothing…” Is there anything more great than faith that can be compared to
love to demonstrate just how important love is? No. And this is
how perfectly God loves us, and why I should love God and all people with all
my heart, mind, and soul.
“We know that all things work together for good for those who love God,
who are called according to His purpose.”
~ Romans 8:28
As I’ve written in previous posts, Birchwood wasn’t in my
radar for this summer. My summer
at camp is a testimony to how God works in ways that we can’t even
imagine. The bottom line is God is
in control. All the time. I like to try to plan out my life, but
at this point I’m ready to sit back and see where God takes me, living (and
loving) in peace knowing that I will never be forgotten. Even when I’m in Boston (and don’t want
to be) God still lets me know He is here, in small ways – a warm sun and
flowers, the smiling face of a friend, a twilight run along the esplanade… Decisions become so much less stressful
when I recognize that God already knows what I will choose and what will become
of it. This is not an excuse to
sit back idly and wait for God to do something with me. Quite the contrary actually. This is an excuse to run hard after
Christ, serving and praising God in all things, knowing that He will give me
the strength to accomplish whatever it is that is on my heart.
“Three times I appealed to the Lord about this, that it would leave me,
but he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect
in weakness.’ So I will boast all
the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in
me. Therefore I am content with
weakness, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of
Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.”
~2 Corinthians
12:8-10
So many times I have heard people ask how there can be a God
while there is so much suffering.
I have wondered this, and honestly still don’t understand it***. We give joy even when we are
beaten down and worn out because we know that our needs, fears, worries,
desires, sufferings, grieves are so infinitesimally small compared to the
goodness and greatness of God. My grace is sufficient for you. When do we recognize that most but when
we are at our lowest point? So
then as hard as it is to thank God when all you want to do is fall down and
cry, that is what we are called to do, and that is how God lifts us to soar on
the wings of eagles. So many times
the Bible points us to lower ourselves as servants. James 4:6 says “God
opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” It is with humility that we come before
God, recognizing the fact that we are not in control, and that we cannot save
ourselves, but it is only through Christ, and through Christ we are made
perfect in our weakness.
“He [Jesus] himself bore our sins in his body on the cross, so that,
free from sins, we might live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been
healed. For you were going astray
like sheep, but now you have returned to the shepherd and guardian of your
souls.”
~ 1 Peter 2:24-25
This is a topic I have been struggling with more since
leaving Birchwood than while I was there.
A camper, in a moment (more like a night) of frustration, yelled at me
“You’re a sinner!****” I replied
that yes, I was, and I am still. I
sin. I sin when I know I should
not. I deliberately disobey the
commandments God has given me and turn to worldly pleasures instead. And why? What good is there to become of it? Nothing. And yet, God still
loves me. And that is the
grace that is freely given that I don’t deserve. That is where Jesus stepped in, and died on a cross so that
even though I am not and cannot be worthy of God’s gracious love, I am saved
anyway. Is there no greater love than this? If there is one thing I took away from camp this summer
regarding living life as a Christian it is to love humbly. I am nothing before God. I guess that verse from Micah 6 is
finally starting to translate its way from an idea in my head to a passion in
my heart. “He has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the LORD require
of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your
God?” That is it. God takes care of the rest.
“Whoever speaks must do so as one speaking the very words of God;
whoever serves must do so with the strength that God supplies, so that God may
be glorified in all things through Jesus Christ.”
~ 1 Peter 4:11
I’ve never been very good at talking to people. Put me in front of a huge crowd and I
can give a speech no problem, but sit me down one-on-one and suddenly I am
vulnerable. I’m scared to open up,
to trust someone with my personal thoughts. Even those whom I’ve known for most of my life and are my
very best friends only occasionally get glimpses of my inner ponderings. This summer I recognized just how
prevalent this handicap is.
Talking with (or more accurately listening to on my part) someone speak
with remarkably confidant, poised truth was both refreshing and convicting for
me. I am reminded of the power of
words, and how carefully we must choose them when speaking to others and to
God. Speech is a gift from God,
and by my neglect I do not do all I can to glorify Him and love others.
“And I saw another mighty angel coming down from heaven, wrapped in a
cloud, with a rainbow over his head; his face was like the sun, and his legs
like pillars of fire. He held a
little scroll open in his hand.
Setting his right foot on the sea and his left foot on the land, he gave
a great shout, like a lion roaring.
And when he shouted, the seven thunders sounded. And when the seven thunders had
shouted, I was about to write, but I heard a voice from heaven saying, ‘Seal up
what the seven thunders have said, and do not write it down.’ Then the angel whom I saw standing on
the sea and the land raised his right hand to heaven and swore by him who lives
forever and ever, who created heaven and what is in it, the earth and what is
in it, and the sea and what is in it: ‘There will be no more delay, but in the
days when the seventh angel is to blow his trumpet, the mystery of God will be
fulfilled, as he announced to his servants the prophets.’”
~Revelation 10:1-7
There is so much that we do not know. So much that God has planned, that we
can’t even begin to dream about.
We try to make sense of this world, of the Bible, of life in general,
but all too often we can’t. Our
earthly definitions and explanations of phenomena fall short of the remarkable,
wonderful, mystery of God. And that’s ok. The peace that passes understanding is one of the most
precious gifts from God. We don’t
need to understand, God understands, and that’s all that matters.
“Pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances.”
~ 1 Thessalonians
5:17-18
The Bible is our book.
It was given to us for a reason.
It contains the truth and is the word of God. And there is nothing else for us to do, but fall on our
knees giving thanks and praise to the one who created us all. Faith is no easy task. There is nothing simple about believing
the truth that is Jesus Christ. So
many paths seek to lead us astray, and as Christians God has called us not to
follow the easy road that so many find, but instead enter through the narrow
gate, where the road is hard but leads to life (Matthew 7:13-14).
“*****Therefore, since we are surrounded by a
great cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight and the sin that clings
so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us,
looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the sake of
the joy that was set before him endured the cross, disregarding its shame, and
has taken his seat that the right hand of the throne of God.”
~ Hebrews 12:1-2
Amen.
*truthfully… Truth.
How often growing up was I told to tell the truth? Is that not an underlying theme of
Christianity? Of morality in
general? It seems like such a
simple concept, yet it is one that I have struggled with immensely. To tell the truth. The truth to myself, the truth to those
I love, the truth to God. It
starts out small, but slowly my lies grow, ensnaring my heart and constricting
my speech, until the ugly beast is what I view reality through. Why is it so hard to speak words that
are true? Instead of hiding in
cowardice behind a monster that doesn’t need to exist at all, yet does as I
refuse to sever the bonds that tie me down… Lord, give me the strength to tell the truth.
**hug… I’ve always had a little personal bubble, ok, maybe a
big personal bubble. It makes me
feel uncomfortable when people stand too close to me. This feeling is epitomized in hugging. Thankfully I’ve had a few friends in
the last couple years who have helped me overcome this irrational discomfort by
hugging me often, when I’m least expecting it, and though I tended to flinch at
first (yes, I would flinch) now I welcome those hugs and occasionally even
venture out to give hugs of my own accord.
***But that’s ok, because God is so great that He surpasses
my need to understand.
****This actually happened. She told me I had lied, that I was a liar and a sinner. I told her I was a sinner, but I didn’t
lie about this! (Which was the
truth!)
*****I recommend reading the preceding text to this
passage. The “therefore” that
begins this final instruction is rooted in the previous 40 verses in Hebrews 11
discussing faith and what faith is.
“Now faith is the assurance of
things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen…” Sometimes faith seems
too large for me handle. How can I
possibly believe what God wants me to?
I love the passage from 2 Peter 1:3-8. It breaks faith down into smaller, more humanly manageable parts;
building up until the climax of faith is reached. Our faith is built from love, mutual affection, godliness,
endurance, self-control, knowledge, and goodness, and only once all those are
in place, do we find the faith that God so graciously leads wants us to have.
