Day 10: Wait

Confession: I waited all day today for some revelation of what to post for this word…. And now it is after midnight and I don’t have anything more interesting, insightful, or profound than I did when I woke up this morning.

I am not very good at waiting.  Even waiting for little things, like class to start or the tea water to boil can often leave me antsy.  I try to carry around some reading material so in those brief moments where I must wait I can at least be productive.  But I cannot pretend that the pressure I feel to fill even the transitions between parts of my day is healthy.

We are kept waiting.  It is a fact of life, as much as I dislike this fact.  Right now I’m waiting on a lot of things: a weekend take home test to be sent out, decisions and financial aid information from graduate schools, job application statuses, etc.  And each time one deadline passes or one situation is resolved there is always another to take its place.  There is always something to anticipate, for better or for worse. 

The unknown is not easy.  And we must wait for the unknown to be made known.  I think this is what I dislike most about taking the bus.  I never know when it is going to come.  I wait at the stop, with the timing of the bus completely out of my control.  In some ways, this is the very essence of waiting; surrendering our own control, and putting our needs on the shoulders of another. 

This humbling exercise of waiting reminds me that I am not in control.  It reminds me of my connections to others, and of my dependence on people I have never even met, such as the bus driver of Route 1 that will take me to Cambridge. 

Jesus said “do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring enough worries of its own.”  He tells us to wait patiently, knowing that God will provide for us in our need, just as God cares for the birds, the flowers, and the grasses (Matthew 6:25-34).  He tells us to surrender our worries, and wait, knowing that God will provide through love.

Day 9: Place

The Sacred Space.

Exactly what it sounds like, this is a place where anyone can gather.  It is a special place, devoted to the dome where the physical meets the spiritual. 

This quite room tucked away on campus has been my home every Thursday night since I started five years ago at Northeastern.  The sacred space is where we come to worship, pray, meditate, socialize, and reflect.  In the secular world of Boston, this little room is full of so much Grace. 

And I am so thankful for each and every person who I have encountered through this place.  I reflect with joy the friendships developed and support shared there.  God is with us always, but God is especially with us in the Sacred Space, whatever you conceive God to be.

Photo credit LECM

Day 8: Remember

The tallest tree in the world is 379.7 feet tall.  It is a coast redwood (Sequoia sempervirens) and is in Redwood National Park in California.  Every year, tourists from all around the world journey to this national park to observe the mighty trees and unique forest ecosystem.  They marvel at the massive size of the trunks, gazing up in wonder and admiration.

But we mustn’t forget what keeps these beauties standing tall through the sun, the wind, and the rain.  Beneath the towering trunks and reaching branches lies an intricate network of roots; a network of strength and power that supports the tree, hidden beneath the ground and away from tourists’ eyes.

Remember your roots.  The roots of those who have gone before us and paved the way for our journey.  The roots of the people who support us day in and day out.  The roots of those present, and of those past.  The roots of those close, and of those far.

As Christians, our roots lie in Judaism.  The narrative in Hebrews 11 outlines the roles that our predecessors played in a great story of faith.  From Abel to Noah, and Abraham to Moses, we are told how these people lived by faith.  The account finishes with Jesus in Hebrews 12:1-2 “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith…”

Our roots are deep.  Our roots are firm in the love of God, and our roots will help us stand even amid the greatest adversity.  We are not alone in this race.  Countless have gone before, and Jesus walks with us.  Remember your roots.

Day 7: Path

I had a discussion last night about the concept of pre-determination, and more broadly, the concept that our lives are each set on a defined path.  We discussed how free will fit into the equation, and struggled with combining the two seemingly opposites.  We didn’t come to any conclusions, and I’m sure this concept will be revisited when I start divinity school.  One thing I do know, we are on a journey, and we don’t know where life will take us around the bend.

This picture is from a hike with friends up Pioneer Peak in Alaska.  We had been following the path for hours, up and up and up.  And then up.  And then up some more.  The whole time I had been ‘encouraging’ them on, saying that we were close to the ridge.  “Just over the next bump!”  (The ridge was a significant point, like half way maybe).  Eventually it became like the boy who cried wolf, and no one believed that I had any idea where we were.

Finally, and I mean finally, we made it to the ‘ridge,’ and stopped to take a picture (below).  We had reached a flat expanse, with snow spreading in all directions and a thick fog that obscured any other features.  A path of footprints ventured forwards. 

About at this point I stopped, and exclaimed that we needed to veer right.  I proposed that we move off the path, and walk right into the abyss.  Of course, they thought I was insane. 

We may not know what path we are on, and we may not know where this path leads.  We may not know if we are on the “right” path, or if one decision will change the direction of our path.  Wherever we are though, God will be walking with us.  It takes trust, and confidence to walk forward with (literally) the peace that passes understanding.  Knowing that God is with us, through each and every obstacle we face, success we celebrate, and decision that we make, regardless of where we are on this path we call life.

P.S.  We made it to the top of Pioneer Peak that day.  To the right, and up and and up and up!

Day 6: Covenant

I’m going to stick to the literal meaning of this word…  On the first day of every camp at Birchwood we gather all the campers, counselors, and staff together and outline a covenant.  This agreement is a promise to each other of how we will act and live through the week we have together.  This covenant comes from the kids, and we all agree to these ‘rules’ so that every person can have a positive camp experience. 

I struggle sometimes on keeping my agreements.  I am one of those people who has difficulty saying “no.”  This makes my schedule rather jam packed, with each night of the week accounted for, sometimes multiple times.  And truthfully, I like to keep busy.  I like to feel productive, to be engaged in the community, and to explore different interests.  I volunteer a lot of my time, and am involved in many leadership positions on campus.  The sum effect of each of these commitments however is a week with few evenings to myself.

I love Birchwood because we are intentional, and the covenant that we make is a sign of that intentionality.  This is something I need to work on moving forward.  I shouldn’t participate in an activity because I feel like I have to or need to; I should approach each engagement with purpose, with intent, and for the people I am working with.  My mom calls this “being present,” and it is a good thing to keep in mind when interacting with each and every person I meet. 

The same intent needs to be endorsed in relationships, with friends and family.  Sometimes saying “no” to one thing may be the right way to say “yes” to spending time with a friend you haven’t seen in awhile, or letting someone special know that you love them, or just taking a break with yourself and Netflix to relax or going on a run to recompose your sanity. 

Our time is precious, it is the only time that we have, and it is up to us to delegate how we use that time.  There are some things that we need to do, and then there are some things that we need to do that really matter.  It is these that I need to focus my time on, to keep my promises to people that I love, and intentionally be available to them.

(Photo credit: Birchwood camp)

Day 5: Celebrate!

I got to go to church today!  This might seem a little obvious since it is Sunday, but it has actually been a little while since I have been to church.  This is due to a few unplanned and one planned event in the form of a) ski instructor training weekend, b) a missed bus and another bus that didn’t stop to pick me up, and c) two Sunday services cancelled because of ridiculous amounts of snow.  As a result, my last day of church was January 18^th.

So today I tromped through the snow at 7:30am and made it to Union UMC for the 8:00 service to join the voices of other early risers to praise God and give thanks for this day.  And this is cause for celebration.

In Luke 19:28-40, Jesus is riding into Jerusalem, in the moment we traditionally celebrate on Palm Sunday.  People are lining the path, laying their coats before Jesus, and celebrating God joyfully, “Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord!  Peace in heaven, and glory in the highest heaven!”  Then Jesus is challenged to stop the celebration, and he responds with the most interesting phrase, “I tell you, if these were silent, the stones would shout out.”

The stones.  Rocks?  Rocks praising God?  It sounds a little strange to me.  I remember talking with a friend once, and he told me that the ability to praise God is a gift.  The celebration of the life that God has given, complete with God’s ever-present and all abiding love, is a joy in and of itself.  Why would we hand-over such a treasure to the rocks?

With this mentality I come to join in worship.  Knowing that the ability to praise God, in whatever form that may look like for you, is a gift to fill your heart with joy, peace, and love.  How will you celebrate God today?

Day 4: Joy

Every Saturday morning I volunteer with Science Club for Girls.  We teach elementary school science classes at Northeastern to students from all around Boston.  I have taught classes in the past, but now I help on more of the organization side of things.

I love Science Club because so many different people are brought together to explore and learn about our world.  At Science Club, we focus on the “whole girl,” encouraging confidence and independence in women of all ages.  Most importantly, we have fun!

Science Club reminds me of the many ways in which people are called to minister.  So many people are doing good works all around the world, encouraging and supporting all of God’s people wherever their passion yearns.  From homelessness and poverty, to college preparation work and career counseling, we are building a world of support and love amidst the pain and suffering.

So today, let us focus on the beautiful people in this world and give thanks to God in JOY!

We are here today because science is fun!

We are here to show that science is for anyone.

Any age, any race, boy or GIRL,

Science answers questions we have about the world.

We use our brains, our hands, and make a big mess!

We investigate together through experiments.

We are the future, the future we will be,

Because Science Club for Girls is for girls like me!

~SCFG Pledge

Day 3: Alone

I am alone as I write this.  My blogging the last few years has been more intentional; less about the stream of consciousness in my head and more about the specific experiences that I want to share.  This is largely due to the fact that I have evolved into a more social creature throughout my time at college.  While freshmen and into sophomore year I spent Friday and Saturday evenings blogging, now I am hanging out with friends, visiting my boyfriend, or just sleeping.  But here I am again blogging, alone.

The physical alone however is not the heart of this reflection (though it is worthy of other musings that I may delve into at another time).  The kind of alone that I want to focus on is the alone that we feel even while surrounded by people, by friends, even by family.  This type of alone brings my heart to tears.

It is the type of alone that screams at the world “you don’t understand!”

It is the type of alone that cries us to sleep at night.

It is the type of alone that causes us to pull farther away, when what we really are in need of most is company.

To enter into relationship takes trust.  It requires a certain vulnerability that can be challenging to muster.  It requires humility, setting aside what we are proud of and humbly coming to another.  It is risky, and sometimes it fails.

God is with us through the alone.  God sees our weakness, our brokenness, and loves us despite these truths.  God gives us strength and courage even when we don’t think we have what it takes.  How can we bridge the alone?  How can we support our brothers and sisters?  How can we have relationship without opening up to be known?

The picture today is a crowd of people in Boston.  What is it like to be alone within the crowd?  More importantly, how can we support each other through the alone?

An additional note.  This is a video a saw a few years back that I think beautifully captures the struggle between the acceptance and intimidation of alone.

Day 2: Look

I have thought about this word all quite a bit today, pondering what I should post and what picture I could use.  I began with the verb, to look.  What can represent looking?  It occurred to me that used in everyday context, most of the time our attention is drawn to look at something.  Look at that.  Look at me!  Look at this.  It is a direction to call our attention to _________ (fill in the blank).

But, this being a reflective piece, I challenged myself to look beyond the obvious.  What do we see when we aren’t looking for something?  Or phrased differently, what do we miss when we are only looking for something in particular.  When we focus our attention on details that are most often ignored, we see the whole picture, and our subject of interest is brought into the context in which it is placed, gathering meaning, wholeness, and depth.

God is at work in this world.  God is at work in every creepy crawly thing beneath the earth, every flower that brings color to creation, and (yes New England) every snowflake that flutters to the ground.  God is at work in every person that passes on the street, every child in a playground, every friend met for tea.  God is active.  Sometimes though when our focus is immediate, we miss God’s marvelous works infiltrating every aspect of our lives.

I chose a Where’s Waldo cartoon for today.  In this puzzle we are challenged to LOOK, to find Waldo amidst the intentional distractions.  Can you find him?  What else is happening in this picture?  Do your eyes skim frantically for the familiar red and white stripes?  Or do you examine each person, pausing before moving to the next?  How do you look?

The beach scene was intentional.  Ahhh don’t we wish for a warm summer day :)

Day 1: Announce

Today, Ash Wednesday, marks the beginning of Lent.  In the Christian calendar the period is marked by a time of repentance, fasting, and centering on God as we prepare for Easter and the celebration of Christ’s resurrection.  The ashes come from the palms used on Palm Sunday the year before, and are mixed with oil or water and drawn in a cross on people’s foreheads.

The ashes are used to represent our mortality.

Genesis 3:19 – “By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread until you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”

These ashes represent every measure by which we fall short of God.  They represent our sins, and more importantly they represent our need for repentance and forgiveness.  Lent is marked by fasting, so that we remember our failures, while ever holding on to and preparing for the hope that arises with Christ’s resurrection on Easter. 

Through Lent we are preparing.  God prepares us to wipe away all that is broken, all that is marred, all that is hopeless, so that on Easter morning we are fresh with the promise of life, forgiveness, mercy, and grace through Jesus.

Traditionally, Christians fast during this 40-day span.  This may take the form of “giving something up,” a certain indulgence or bad habit perhaps; like chocolate, or Facebook.  Other times you will hear people “taking something on,” such as a practice to reconnect with God and make time for spiritual renewal; like daily devotionals, or 10 minutes of resting silence each day.  All this is done in the spirit of refocusing relationship with God.

This year for Lent I will be jumping on the UMC bandwagon of #picturelent #rethinkchurch #ashtag (ok, enough of that).  Each day I will post a picture and short reflection according to a schedule someone somewhere created.

I am excited about this project because it will be challenging.  As most of you know, I am incredibly literal.  I will try here to look for and recognize meaning in places I wouldn’t have taken the time for previously.  I will try to refrain from posting the obvious (eyes for “see,” my back yard for “wilderness”) and instead think more holistically about the meaning of the word and it’s impact in my life.

Day 1: Announce

It occurred to me today (after much deliberation on what picture I could post that represented the word “announce” – picture of a trumpet dis-included on the grounds of being too literal) that I have not formally announced to the social media world my intentions to enter into ministry.  I am somewhat ashamed of my lack of openness, why have I been hiding such an exciting decision?  I suppose my approach, one of careful consideration and deliberation, was very personal.  I dipped my toes in the proposition ever so slightly, testing the waters over the past four years, and always hesitating to take the final plunge. 

Well.  The waiting is over.  It is time to get over my selfishness, and give glory to God for this wonderful new step in my life.

I will be attending Divinity School/Seminary in the fall.  Where, I am not yet certain.  I have formally begun the candidacy process in the United Methodist Church, and hope to serve in youth/children/camp ministry or chaplaincy, or wherever else God may lead.  Through the specific type of ministry in my future is still unknown, I see this call as an extension of baptism; a venture to work full time as a laborer in God’s plentiful harvest.

I chose this picture because it is from the day that I visited my first theological graduate school.  Carly had planned a trip, and she graciously let me sit in on her plans and tour the school with her.  Little did I know that I might be attending one day!  I am so very grateful for the people in my life who affirmed and guided me towards this calling.  I love you all!

Peace,

Emily