Day 10: Wait

Confession: I waited all day today for some revelation of what to post for this word…. And now it is after midnight and I don’t have anything more interesting, insightful, or profound than I did when I woke up this morning.

I am not very good at waiting.  Even waiting for little things, like class to start or the tea water to boil can often leave me antsy.  I try to carry around some reading material so in those brief moments where I must wait I can at least be productive.  But I cannot pretend that the pressure I feel to fill even the transitions between parts of my day is healthy.

We are kept waiting.  It is a fact of life, as much as I dislike this fact.  Right now I’m waiting on a lot of things: a weekend take home test to be sent out, decisions and financial aid information from graduate schools, job application statuses, etc.  And each time one deadline passes or one situation is resolved there is always another to take its place.  There is always something to anticipate, for better or for worse. 

The unknown is not easy.  And we must wait for the unknown to be made known.  I think this is what I dislike most about taking the bus.  I never know when it is going to come.  I wait at the stop, with the timing of the bus completely out of my control.  In some ways, this is the very essence of waiting; surrendering our own control, and putting our needs on the shoulders of another. 

This humbling exercise of waiting reminds me that I am not in control.  It reminds me of my connections to others, and of my dependence on people I have never even met, such as the bus driver of Route 1 that will take me to Cambridge. 

Jesus said “do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring enough worries of its own.”  He tells us to wait patiently, knowing that God will provide for us in our need, just as God cares for the birds, the flowers, and the grasses (Matthew 6:25-34).  He tells us to surrender our worries, and wait, knowing that God will provide through love.